10/19/2008 10:47:00 PM


So, before the first home BYU football game, I told my children of the trumpet section to honor tradition, spirit, and honor. Really, I only said tradition, but the other two seem to flow naturally behind the first. I told them to make each game a tradition, and further I said that they MUST be superstitious. All games must be preceded by the same routine, as is done by I believe most professional athletes. I championed not washing their game day clothes, but rather setting them up to become crisp. That, I have found, makes the football team win. Generally, I said, the same undergarment should be worn while viewing away games on the television. This would ensure victory, I promised. Well, this last week, in an act of abismal defiance, I challenged my own words. I wore the wrong outfit, and my beloved Cougs were not only slaughtered, but they were cut into steaks and packaged and sold in nearly every major supermarket in the Dallas/Fort Worth area. Furthermore, in my self-defiance I failed to cut my hair, leaving it long (nearly over the top of my ears!!), and unmanagable. For this reason and this reason, the Cougars lost that football game to eye-bleeding horned frogs of TCU. Sorry Max Hall. Sorry Austin Collie. Sorry Dennis Pita. Sorry Bronco Mendenhall. I have failed you, and I will never do so again. I sincerely ask for your forgiveness. Just for fun, I found this picture of one of BYU's offensive linemen that allowed the frogs to sack Max Hall 7 times. It looks like he is a round steak. That is the caliber he played, at least. If TCU were made into steaks, they would probably be Top Sirloin or New York Strips, but alas, they played well, and weren't cut into steaks. Once again, I am very sorry and will never let this happen again.