10/21/2008 07:21:00 PM

A Question!

Mitchell asks:
1. How is it possible for Matt to be so good looking, yet so single?
2. Also, what sort of super powers do the young sparrows posses?

Matthias answers:
1. That is an excellent question, and I wish I knew the answer. It is obviously baffling that a specimen such as myself wouldn't be constantly mobbed by specimens such as Scarlett Johansson. In addition to potential love interests being intimidated to date a man with superpowers such as mine, there was one incident that still strikes fear into the feminine heart . . .

Once upon a time I discussed the growing number of iPods seen on campus of the BYU with my fellow young sparrow brethren, and it was determined that the iPod had become the ultimate sign of hipness and virility to the female student body. We reasoned that white headphones were cool, but how cool would it be to show off your Apple awesomeness with some gigantic musical bling? I set out the very next day to experiment. I arrived on campus with a Mac Mini hanging on a guilded chain from my neck with large speakers strapped to my shoulders. As predicted, the moment girls set eyes upon the gadgetry of my bosom they were overcome with lust and rushed at me in hormonal surge. The ground began to shake as I powered up the speakers and in a thunderous voice I commanded them to halt or be destroyed. Though I was loathe to harm the vixen mob, I had no choice. I pushed play. Devastating sounds waves burst forth from my speakers with apocalyptic doom, blasting back the waves of wanton females. Thousands were injured in the cacophonous skirmish. My musical mayhem had broken a lot of bones and even more hearts, even now no girl has forgotten that day. Therefore I remain seperate and single for a little season yet, until the day when a challenger will rise and our musics will duel, and if she defeats me, she may have me.

As for Young Sparrow's special powers, I leave it up to the group to disclose their individual abilities.

Landon answers:
I once belched for over a minute straight.