“A velociraptor is coming at you on a hoverboard. In a haiku, describe how you will survive.”
This must be the greatest exam question ever!
3/11/2009 01:52:00 AM
3/09/2009 01:53:00 AM
Here is my email to Time Warner, parent company of HBO. Feel free to copy it (and include the shareholder part if you have any indirect financial interests in the company - that often takes a little research) -- I think Time Warner/HBO needs to receive a bleep-storm of letters from folks who disapprove. I don't want to attract undue attention to all this, but I'm definitely telling my LDS friends to notify Time Warner that we're not pleased.
It seems most likely, given the characters involved in the production of the show, that the whole thing is merely retaliation for the Church's involvement in Prop 8.
______________________________
To Time Warner Investor Relations:
I am a shareholder of Time Warner, Inc. via a mutual fund managed by Fidelity Management and Research, Inc.
I'm sure Time Warner is currently receiving quite a few emails from LDS folks as the viral emails circulate about the March 15 Big Love episode on HBO. I'm sure some are more well-reasoned than others and some more vitriolic than others. As a shareholder of HBO via Time Warner, I just hope that my message is read.
I am an active member of the LDS Church, and although I can only speak for myself, I think you can take my comments as fairly representative of the thoughts and feelings of many of your LDS shareholders. I recognize that HBO probably has every right to show parts of the LDS temple ceremonies on Big Love. I'm not (and neither has the church ever been) particularly fazed by the presence of information on the internet and elsewhere about the LDS temple endowment ceremony. I'm all for free speech and flow of accurate information. I applaud Time Warner for supporting journalistic and artistic integrity. I am generally pleased with Time Warner's business and the products and services it provides.
The problem with what HBO is doing now by producing this episode is that the airing of these sacred ceremonies is going to offend and upset Mormons worldwide by making this sacred part of our religion part of promoting a sitcom. You see, your sitcom isn't broadcast to educate people. It's purpose is to entertain. And the sacred things we do in the temple are not for entertainment or for creating shock value to increase viewership. The fact that some of the temple clothing was displayed in this week's "TV Guide Magazine" to promote your show is offensive to me and members everywhere. Major entertainment groups have produced entertaining pieces containing references to Mormonism for years, but all in the past 50 years (at least, as far as I know) all have had the respect to avoid graphic depiction of our sacred temple ceremonies. Even news reports aimed at education have respected the Church's request that these sacred things not be displayed outside of our temples for others to ridicule.
I expect people to poke fun at the Church or even to say that the Church is weird or nonsensical. I also expect a certain level of respect. The airing of these sacred rituals on a fictional program is the effectual "pantsing" of the LDS Church on television, and I don't think it's appropriate for a company of Time Warner's stature to participate.
You can be sure that I won't be participating in anything associated with Time Warner or any of its subsidiaries if this actually airs on March 15. I would appreciate it if you would refrain from holding those things that are sacred to me in front of your viewers for the benefit of your made-up television show, Big Love.
Sincerely,
Jordan Weber
3/05/2009 09:29:00 AM
Maybe they still do, but i don't ever remember reading anything like THIS:
LDS.org - New Era Article - Last of the Big-Time Spenders
3/05/2009 02:51:00 AM
YouTube - Senior Adult Choir Hip Hop (Short Version)
I am completely dumbfounded. No words to describe.
3/05/2009 01:36:00 AM
From the article: "It's supposed to shock and confuse the senses," says Modern Toilet manager Chen Min-kuang.
The reasonably priced food includes curries, pasta, fried chicken and Mongolian hot pot, as well as elaborate shaved-ice desserts with names like "diarrhea with dried droppings" (chocolate), "bloody poop" (strawberry) and "green dysentery" (kiwi). Despite the disturbing descriptions, the desserts were great. But after seeing curry drip down a mini-toilet, I may never have that sauce again.
...That is freaking disgusting.
3/04/2009 09:23:00 PM
3/04/2009 03:16:00 AM
To celebrate, here are some pictures of urban camouflage.
The box suit cracks me up...
3/04/2009 03:07:00 AM
Hahahahahahahahaha! She say she are the manager!
3/03/2009 11:37:00 PM
Someone sent me a link to www.mormonwebtv.com. I found this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5oP3ngtRvYs
I warn you that I couldn't make it the whole way through the song - It's just that crappy. Just hearing this song, I think, would absolutely ruin the holidays.
2/27/2009 05:52:00 PM
When you don't know what to say, but still want to complain, go here.
I intend on sending a 10 paragraph letter of complaint to Glenwood.
2/23/2009 02:21:00 PM
Jazz composer Simon Thorne has been kind enough to let us know what Neanderthal music possibly sounded like.
If this is Neanderthal music, then I'm glad they aren't around to keep bothering us with it.
2/20/2009 04:26:00 PM
Jared & Sam: Only in Provo!!!
It's real!!!! I thought I had seen it that way, too. See also fetus evolution chart above linked blog post.
2/17/2009 05:45:00 PM
So according to this video, if you walk up to a random person in Osaka and pretend you're shooting them, they'll play along and pretend they've been shot. If I had only known this while I was on my mission...
2/17/2009 05:35:00 PM
I thought this was interesting... and kinda gay. But mostly just interesting and funny.
2/15/2009 08:17:00 PM
So according to this article, there are "... three phases of love, which include lust, attraction and attachment. Lust is a hormone-driven phase where we experience desire. Blood flow to the pleasure center of the brain happens during the attraction phase, when we feel an overwhelming fixation with our partner. This behavior fades during the attachment phase, when the body develops a tolerance to the pleasure stimulants. Endorphins and hormones vasopressin and oxytocin also flood the body at this point creating an overall sense of well-being and security that is conducive to a lasting relationship."
Hmmm...
2/14/2009 10:25:00 AM
Kissing: It really is all about chemistry
| Reuters: "Valentine Lotharios beware: There's a lot riding on a kiss, new studies on the science of smooching suggest.
Researchers said kissing sets off a complex set of chemical reactions, and in some cases, a bad kiss could be the kiss of death for a burgeoning romance.
'A kiss is a mechanism for mate assessment,' said Helen Fisher of Rutgers University in New Jersey, who is presenting her findings on Saturday at the American Association for the Advancement of Science meeting in Chicago.
Fisher, an anthropologist, told a news briefing that kissing is something more than 90 percent of human societies practice, but scientists are just beginning to understand the science of kissing, which is known as philematology."
2/13/2009 02:14:00 AM
So I was looking around for some good ideas for dates and things to do around Provo when I realized something - the people who make these lists are complete imbeciles. I mean these people are so out of touch it's not even funny! (Even though it is...) These are the sorts of people who enjoy staring at blank walls in their apartments. Now, if we establish that as some sort of baseline for fun, then I suppose everything these people suggest is fun, if only marginally. For example, compared to staring at a blank wall, collecting canned food does sound like fun.
A few of the more ridiculous items I've run across include, but are not limited to:
-Reading Trip - Go to a bookstore, each pick an interesting book and read them to each other.
Ok, this could be fun if there were some element of danger involved. If one were to attempt to remove the books from the store and read them outside without paying for them, it would still not be interesting enough. This date idea can only be remedied by the addition of a potato gun. Load said gun with a book you hate and fire it in the bookstore. There, now it's fun! (Even better if you fire it AT an employee)
Fun level - 3.5 flaming chilies
-Kid Olympics - Put on an Olympics for little kids.
Completely ridiculous. This has pedophile written all over it. And how does this work? Do you round up all the neighborhood kids (In this case Helaman Halls?) and tell them to run races? I tried to do that all summer long and let me tell you, children do not like structured competition. You will have the kids that lost crying all over the place. Not fun. This could be fun if you gave them all paintbrushes and some 'oops' paint from Home Depot and told them to go paint their garage doors. Whoever paints the biggest dinosaur wins!
Fun level - Dino-mite!
-Clowns - Dress up like clowns and be in a parade.
This one makes me want to swear. How insulting is it when they think we'll buy this idea? Nothing more need be said.
Fun level - .1
-No Talking - Go on a date where neither of you can communicate verbally (this might not be too hard in some situations).
They are no longer content with merely insulting our intelligence with ridiculous suggestions. They are now literally trying to destroy relationships.
Fun level - Poor
-Kidnapping - Dress up like a robber and “kidnap” your date. Rush in with a group of friends stealing him or her away to some fun activity.
I've seen this one done before, and believe me, the girl always completely flips. It can take hours to calm her down. Wounds may result. But... it would be way fun if you rushed into the girl's room and fired a potato gun! Heck, we'll just leave the date at that.
Fun level - Matt, don't try this one
-Bow and Arrow - Go into the woods and get flexible sticks. Get bailing twine or some kind of strong small rope and make bows. Then have target practice with them.
Nothing says "I'm really cheap" like gathering sticks in the woods. Although I must admit, I remember doing this on family camping trips. I also remember it taking about 10 minutes before it got old. It would be fun if you actually killed something... Or started making out.
Fun level - 2 flaming lips
-Work Out - Do your muscles a favor and get some blood pumping through them.
If there is a date that says "I am a douche bag" it is this one.
Fun level - 45 Kg
-Poetry Reading - These can be a lot of fun, especially if you have a poem you can go up and read.
Hahahahahahaha!
Fun level - 1.5 split sides
-Meet the Grandparents - Double with your grandparents for dinner and play some fun date games with them.
Holy crap, I know who has been writing this list the whole time now! Grandparents should be introduced only AFTER you are married.
Fun level - ERROR
-Visit A Rest home - Visit some of the elderly at a nearby rest home it's a great way to hear some great stories.
Again, I'm fairly certain I know who wrote this entire list...
Fun level - N/A
-Dollar Date - Go on a date where you can’t spend more than a dollar. The possibilities are endless!
Keep in mind this list was written circa 1930. You could buy a house for a dollar. (Ok, I'm being a bit facetious. More like a car...) This could only be a fun date if you suddenly realized that it wasn't a one dollar bill but a $100 bill! And then you STILL only spent one dollar!
Fun level - $1.00
-Donate Blood - Donate blood at a local blood bank.
While we're at it, why don't we put down "Enlist with Selective Services"? This does not constitute a date.
Fun level - Approximately 1 pint
-Ring Shopping - Pretend like you are getting married and go shop for rings.
What the crap?
Fun level - What the crap?
-Bird Watching - Get a book at the library and then go bird watching.
No. Unless it's part of a picnic or something else. But even then... no.
Fun level - Self-inflicted head wound
-Drawing/Painting - Paint or draw a portrait of each other.
All I can think of is Napoleon Dynamite...
Fun level - 1 shaded upper-lip
-Historic Cemetery - Visit the cemetery in downtown Salt Lake where a number of prominent LDS leaders are buried.
Weird. I'd do this, but not for a date...
Fun level - Porter Rockwell. Or maybe J. Golden Kimball.
-Garage Sale/Ebay Date - Go garage sale hopping and try to find the best deals then sell them on Ebay. Use the money you make on your next date.
This one is hilarious, because you might end up losing money and out on a second date.
Fun level - POSITIVE: Fast payment A+++++++++!!!!!!
2/04/2009 10:17:00 PM
I never understood what that phrase meant until I read this article.
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