1/26/2009 09:06:00 PM

IF YOU PLAY VIDEO GAMES, YOU'RE A LOSER

BYU News - Release

'The research is based on information collected from 813 college students around the country. As the amount of time playing video games went up, the quality of relationships with peers and parents went down.

“It may be that young adults remove themselves from important social settings to play video games, or that people who already struggle with relationships are trying to find other ways to spend their time,” Walker said. “My guess is that it’s some of both and becomes circular.” '


I, on the other hand, have done my own scientific research (faculty mentor: kiefer sutherland), and have found a direct increase in the quality of my relationships as a result of video game usage. In fact, some of my best memories in the past 18 months of being back from my mission have been playing video games. And I normally get more dates when I play video games, too. I keep asking myself, "Why haven't I been doing this more often?" and "How can I increase my video game playing?"

The bogusness of this study is further proven through the following paragraph:
“Relationship quality is one of a cluster of things that we found to be modestly associated with video games,” Walker said. “The most striking part is that everything we found clustered around video game use is negative.”

You see, even without my improved relationships, I can still identify several positive things from video game use. For example, if you came at me with a trench gun and the juggernaut perk enabled, I would know to knife you in the neck instead of trying to get you by shooting you 25 times with the M1A1 Carbine. If that's not positive, I don't know what is. I mean, I've got skills like knowing when to throw a flash bang and how to use an aperture scope.

Not to mention the keen sense I have of people sneaking up behind me. Just think of all those people who get killed by lurkers in alleyways - I bet THEY wished they had played a little more video games! That's a negative effect of NOT playing video games. But they're not included in this study because THEY'RE DEAD!!!

Besides, I think it's pretty obvious from the website that the faculty mentor just did the research paper because she wanted to hook up with the undergrad.

1 comments:

Jeff said...

It's true. I often see young ladies draped all over Jordan whilst he plays Call of Duty.